COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE
“A Better Way”
COST LESS · PROTECTS CHILDREN · NO COURT · BETTER RESULTS
LOWERS STRESS
For years as a family law attorney (i.e. divorce lawyer) I have believed there had to be a better way for couples who have determined that divorce is necessary to resolve the issues involved in separation and divorce.
First of all, let me assure you I do not advocate divorce. In situations where clients are not sure what they need to do I recommend counseling and a real effort to investigate the possibility of staying together in an acceptable relationship. If clients are willing, I encourage them to try working with a trusted and capable minister, psychologist, marriage counselor or other qualified professional. However, if such efforts have been exhausted or the parties are not interest in pursuing such options, separation and divorce are often inevitable.
Traditionally, the process used to address and resolve those issues has been to litigate, file an action and go to court for a judge to decide. Unfortunately the traditional approach often serves to polarize couples and intensify anger and hostility so that the parties are no longer able to think rationally or communicate reasonably. Papers are filed and served in court making accusations and bringing up personal and embarrassing details of the couples’ private lives. The exchange of these papers creates deeper hostility and wider divisions within the framework of the family and frequently results in prolonged, expensive, time consuming litigation which is extremely stressful to both parties and may be permanently damaging to children.
When a couple is committed to pursuing divorce or separation they usually have numerous issues to resolve including making appropriate provisions for their children, distributing their property and addressing the cash flow and support requirements of each household.
My goal in every case is to assist my client to resolve those issues as satisfactorily as possible.
For too many years the litigation model has been the accepted, traditional route to resolving divorce and separation issues. I have often thought, “there has to be a better way.” Recently I have learned that there is – Collaborative Divorce.
“What is Collaborative Divorce”
Collaborative Divorce is a new way of approaching and resolving the issues related to separation and divorce which was developed in the early 1990s by Stu Webb, an experienced family law attorney who had witnessed and been forced to participate in so many negative and destructive litigation cases that he was ready to leave the practice of family law altogether. At that point he realized that what separating families need is to hire settlement specialists, not trial specialists. The collaborative process was born and has developed from there.
When engaging in this process, each party hires a collaborative attorney to advocate for his or her interest without being adversarial. The parties, with their attorneys, hold regular four way meetings to discuss the marital issues and ways to resolve them. All parties focus on the needs of the children and set ground rules to protect them from emotional and financial stress while working toward a resolution. Everyone is committed to listen respectfully to the concerns and goals of the other party. Through this process similarities and differences are identified. Options for meeting each person’s goals are identified, listed and considered. Often solutions surface when open discussions are held. Necessary records and documents are voluntarily produced by the parties in good faith. This often saves hundreds or thousands of dollars and months or years of time required to get records in a traditional litigation case.
If there are questions about the best arrangement for children, the value of property or the most efficient way to resolve financial issues, we may want to involve consultants to act in a neutral capacity to review circumstances related to a particular case. A child psychologist or child development specialist may be consulted to get reasoned, neutral recommendations about the best plan for the children. Parties may need to get neutral advice about how best to take care of marital debt or talk with a financial advisor to review financial assets and discuss how to maximize the use of resources to benefit each party and for the family as a whole. Advisors can and do provide a great resource where expertise in a certain area is needed. In the collaborative process, the parties hire one agreed upon neutral advisor. The consultant seeks to acknowledge the concerns of both parties and provide neutral recommendations to best address the particular concern involved. Time involved is minimized and the cost is vastly reduced.
In a traditional litigation case, if experts are needed, each party hires his or her own expert. This immediately doubles the cost. The expert’s opinions may be biased by the view of the person who hired them and provided the information they are given to work with. The opinions of the experts often differ significantly. The parties take different positions and ultimately each lawyer has to prepare for trial and a judge has to decide. Costs escalate, stress increases, time is consumed.
The collaborative process requires that each party communicate in a civil and respectful manner within the structure of the regular four (4) way meetings. Each party has an attorney to advocate for their interests. Each party is given a regular forum to express all of their concerns, goals, and suggested solutions. All records, documents and information are exchanged voluntarily, in good faith and in a timely manner. Attorneys are bound and committed to assure that their clients comply with these principals. Clients maintain control over the results of the process. Results are more client centered and acceptable. Children are protected and benefit immensely.
If you are thinking about divorce, involved in a divorce or separation, or know someone else who is, contact a collaborative lawyer and find out about the advantages of participating in the collaborative method of resolving these cases.
Marilyn Cahoon, Attorney
Collaborative Divorce and Mediation
100 South Elm Street, Suite 300
Greensboro, N.C. 27401
Telephone: 336-275-2888
http://www.cahoonlaw.com
Call to schedule time to view collaborative law DVD free of charge or for free copy of Collaborative brochure.
For more information see: www.cahoonlaw.com; www.triadcollaborative.com; www.collaborativepractice.com
