COLLABORATIVE FAMILY LAW – AN ALTERNATIVE TO COURT
PROTECTS CHILDREN, LOWERS STRESS, SAVES MONEY
Collaborative divorce is a method of resolving divorce cases through a dignified process without going to court.
The issues couples face in the divorce process include making arrangements for children, distributing property and debt and maintaining adequate cash flow in each household. While this article focuses on co-parenting children, the same process applies to property and cash flow issues.
The Collaborative Family Law Method (Collaborative Divorce) was developed by Stuart G. Webb in 1990 when he became so disgusted with the negative, adversarial system that he decided to quit practicing family law. At that point he began experimenting with a different approach which became Collaborative Divorce.
There are numerous benefits to the Collaborative process, including:
· Protecting children from the controversy.
· Allowing the parties greater control over the outcome.
· Cost efficiency.
· Reducing stress and time.
· Non adversarial with emphasis on maintaining the integrity of the parties and the ability of each to respect and communicate with the other.
Research has shown that how couples conduct themselves during and after a divorce has far greater impact on the children than the fact of the divorce itself. In the Collaborative divorce process, the parties and their attorneys address resolving each issue, including co-parenting and providing for the needs of the children from an interest-based point of view. Through a series of four-way meetings, the parties and their attorneys identify that interests and concerns of each parent and explore various options for addressing core concerns. Emphasis is on identifying the needs of each party and identifying acceptable methods of meeting those needs rather than on fault, anger and revenge.
When children are involved it is particularly important for parents who are divorcing to maintain a civil and respectful relationship and be sensitive to the concerns of the children. Children love and have emotional ties to both parents. When exposed to anger, resentment and demands or expectations on the part of either or both parents to reject and take sides against the other the children suffer many repercussions. Their own self-esteem is damaged. Often their grades fall, behavior regresses, or behavior problems surface. They may loose confidence in themselves and respect for both parents. The results may be long lasting and affect their outlook and social skills into adulthood.
Couples using the Collaborative divorce process are in the unique position of working toward solutions in an environment based on respect, cooperation and good faith to maximize the utilization of the resources available. If they reach an impasse regarding an issue involving the children the use of a team may be implemented. The parties may be referred to a neutral consultant knowledgeable about child development or child psychology. The consultant can take an unbiased look at the child and the overall situation and offer recommendations regarding what solutions that will result in the best outcome for the child.
Quite often each party enters negotiation with a set idea regarding how a parenting decision should be made. All too often the parties’ conclusions are poles apart. When the parties and their attorneys listen to the views of both sides with respect, consider the motivations and concerns, and openly discuss all reasonable options, more often than not, an acceptable solution can be found.
With the high rate of divorce prevalent in American society today the courts are overburdened with divorce, custody, and property distribution cases. The adversarial process is lengthy, negative, stressful and expensive. Cases frequently drag on for three to ten years. Costs escalate, often reaching tens of thousands of dollars. Even more devastating is the toll the process takes on the children when resentments and anger become entrenched. Respect and civility are often lost. Children are surrounded by ongoing tension and negative painful emotions with devastating consequences.
The Collaborative divorce process takes less time, is far more cost efficient, actively focuses on protecting the children and preserving respect and civility between the divorcing spouses. The end the results crafted by the parties are more acceptable. Each person involved completes the process more intact and capable of moving forward with a positive outlook.
If you are contemplating divorce or know others who may be, consider investigating the advantages of the collaborative approach.
Marilyn Cahoon, Attorney
Collaborative Divorce, Mediation
100 S Elm St Ste 300
Greensboro, NC 27401
Telephone: 336-275-2888
http://www.cahoonlaw.com
*Collaborative Law video available for viewing free of charge.